LGBTQ+ House Sitters and Homeowners: An Honest Guide for 2026

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Quick Facts

Most people you meet through house sitting will treat you kindly, because most people are kind. A few will not, and that is theirs to carry, not yours. Move on, keep your own side of the street clean, and spend your energy on the life you are actually living.

Two things before we start. The first is that this is my opinion, written plainly, and you are welcome to disagree with any of it. The second is that Caro and I are not writing from lived experience of being an LGBTQ+ sitter. We do not know of any LGBTQ+ homeowners or sitters among the sits we have done. So treat this as one host's honest view, plus the research I did on the parts that are factual, and not as a community's story.

The whole process, from the first application to the handover, is in our book Travel More for Less. This page is about one thing that sits alongside it.

For most of Europe we point sitters at TrustedHouseSitters first, and the pledge I quote below is theirs. If you want the wider safety picture, our house sitting safety guide is the place to start.

My Position, Plainly

I want to start with what I actually believe, rather than with the practicalities. Anyone with different sexual preferences is entitled to their own life, lived the way they want to live it, and they should be able to live it without apology. The only limits I would put on that are the ones that apply to all of us: do not hurt anyone, do not be disrespectful to anyone, and do not force your views onto other people.

I would say the same about the other direction, which is the part people skip. If a homeowner holds different views, they are entitled to those too. Not everyone is going to be friends. That is not a failure of the platform, it is just what humanity looks like when you put everyone in one room.

Over the past couple of years the wider conversation around this has got louder and considerably less kind, and social media and the news cycle have a great deal to answer for. But the practical version of it, on a house sitting platform, is very small. Most people you deal with will not care who you are, and many of them will be genuinely glad to have you in their home. A few will not. You get to decide how much of your life you spend on the few, and I would spend almost none of it.

What the Platforms Actually Say

This part is factual, and it is more useful than people realise.

TrustedHousesitters publishes a member Code of Conduct, and every member agrees to it. Both pledges contain the same sentence, and it is explicit:

For owners: I will be respectful to the entire TrustedHousesitters community, regardless of their race, religion, national origin, ethnicity, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation or age.

For sitters: I will be respectful to the entire TrustedHousesitters community, regardless of their race, religion, national origin, ethnicity, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation or age.

Note that this is a commitment about how members treat each other, not a promise that every application will be accepted. A homeowner choosing someone else is not a breach of it. Treating someone badly because of who they are is. That distinction matters, because it is the difference between a decision you have no remedy for and behaviour you can report.

You can read the full wording on the complaints process we wrote about here, and if a platform ever fails to act on something clear, what platforms can and cannot do sets out the realistic limits.

Where It Gets Complicated: The Law

I had to research this properly rather than guess at it, because it is the part with real consequences.

ILGA World, which maintains the authoritative global database on this, reported in its 2026 update that 65 UN member states still criminalise consensual same-sex relations. That is a third of the world. In some of those places the penalties are severe.

That number matters for house sitting specifically, because house sitting takes you into someone's home for weeks at a time, in a neighbourhood, in a country, with local rules. This is not the same as a two-night city break.

Two things worth holding in mind. First, the law and local attitudes are different things, and a country can be legally equal while parts of it are socially difficult, or the reverse. Second, this is a safety question, not a political one. If you are planning a long sit somewhere, checking takes ten minutes and the answer may change which sit you accept.

Our house sitting in Europe guide covers the destinations where most sits are, if you want the regional picture.

Most Homeowners Do Not Care

This is the honest core of it. In the overwhelming majority of cases, a homeowner is choosing between applicants on one question: who will look after my home and my animals well. Everything else is noise.

They are worried about whether you will show up, whether you will communicate, whether the dog will be walked. They are not usually sitting there thinking about your relationship.

You can also usually work out who you are dealing with quite quickly. If a profile or listing shows two men or two women, people read that in seconds, and they make their own decision. That is not a flaw in the system. It is just how matching works, and it runs in both directions.

If Someone Does Have a Problem

Then you have a choice, and I would make it quickly.

If a homeowner does not want a gay, lesbian or trans sitter in their home, that is their call. I do not like it, and I would not make that call myself, but it is their house. The same applies the other way round: if you would not want to sit for someone whose views you find objectionable, that is equally your call.

What I would not do is fight it. Not out of weakness, and not because anyone is owed silence, but because if you have to force someone to respect you and accept you for a sit, the sit is not going to be good. There will be tension in it from the first message, the animals will pick up on it, and you are most likely heading for a lower review, which affects you on every application after that.

Taking it on costs you more than it costs them. That is the whole argument. If someone is disrespectful to me, I can choose to accept it as a dig, and if I do, it becomes my problem to resolve. In most cases the other person has already forgotten about it and moved on. The longer you hold on to something, the longer it stays yours.

For the specific case of a difficult conversation during the booking process, what to do when a homeowner says something unacceptable and differing political views on a sit both cover the practical handling.

Should You Disclose?

My view is that in most instances you do not need to. Most people have no problem with it, so there is nothing to declare.

The exception is when it is a strong value rather than a personal detail. If it is central to who you are and something you want to be upfront about, then say so, and let people decide whether you are the right fit. That is not a weakness, it is filtering. Arriving at a sit knowing that nobody has discussed the elephant in the room is worse for everyone.

The same rule applies to homeowners, and it applies to more than this subject. If you hold views you would want a guest to know about before they arrive, disclose them. It is far better to have the conversation in a message than to have it in person with a suitcase by the door. Our pre-sit question guide covers where those conversations fit, and the video call is usually where they happen naturally.

For Homeowners: Do You Need to Say Anything?

Broadly, no. Most homeowners have no issue at all, so there is nothing to signal. They write their listing and choose the applicant who suits their home.

If you do have a strong preference, say it in the listing. You can state what you are looking for and, if you want to, give your reason. Some people will be annoyed by that. Some will ask why not us. You do not owe an explanation, and in most cases you will never meet these people anyway.

What you cannot do is be gratuitously unkind about it. You can describe what you want in a listing; you cannot degrade someone in a message. That is the line between a preference and behaviour, and it is also where the platform's own code becomes relevant.

If you are working through applicants and want the mechanics, how to choose between applicants and how to decline someone kindly cover it properly.

If You Are Declined

Honestly, in most cases this will not be the reason. When you are turned down for a sit, it is far more often because of timing, experience, or simply that the homeowner clicked with someone else first. Declining is normal, and the reasons homeowners give are usually mundane.

If someone has genuinely been harassing or degrading, report it. Do it through the platform's own process, keep the message, and let the record exist. What you should not expect is a dramatic outcome. There may be a note against the account and very little else, because proving intent is hard and platforms act slowly. Our guide to bad reviews and disputes is honest about how those processes actually go.

If it is a plain no, take it as information and move on. There are thousands of homeowners who do not care in the slightest. Spending a week upset about one of them costs you the sits you could have been applying for. I would rather treat it as a dodged bullet.

For the wider picture on being turned down, building trust as a new sitter covers how to build a record that makes rejections rarer regardless of who is reading.

The One Line Nobody Should Cross

There is a version of this where a homeowner has strong views and a sitter has strong views, and they end up in the same house. I want to be direct about that, because it is the only scenario here with real danger in it.

If you hold your views so strongly that you could become violent to defend them, house sitting is not for you. Not as a sitter and not as a homeowner. Assault is a criminal offence, and a disagreement about someone else's life is not a defence to it.

You are free to hold whatever views you hold, and free to discuss them. What you are not free to do is escalate them into someone else's harm. If that is a live risk for you, do everyone a favour and don't put a stranger in your home.

I want to add one personal thing here, because it took me years to understand and it changed how I handle all of this.

When I was younger, I thought I was the king of the world. I believed everyone should respect me, and I spent a lot of energy being quietly furious when they did not.

The older I got, the more I realised I was not chasing respect from other people at all. I was trying to respect myself, and I had been asking strangers to do a job that was always mine to do.

The more I respect myself now, the fewer toxic people I let into my life. Not because I have a policy about it. Because I have better things to do than worry about someone else’s opinion of me. I have a life to live to the fullest, and living it well is a lot of enjoyable work.

That is why I do not argue with people who hold different views. Not because their view is right, and not because I am above the argument. Because my time is better spent on the life I am building, and theirs is better spent on theirs.

Which brings me to what I genuinely want this website to be. Not a place that pushes one set of views at people. A place where people accept one another whether they agree or not, where the door stays open for a conversation, and where nobody has to pretend to be someone else in order to be welcome. I think that makes the house sitting community better, and I think it makes the wider world a little better too, one home at a time.

Conclusion

The practical version of this is much smaller than the conversation around it. Most homeowners do not care, and most of the people you meet through this will treat you with real warmth. The platforms ask their members to treat each other with respect regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, and that is a commitment you can hold them to. The laws are genuinely different around the world, and that is worth ten minutes of checking before a long sit.

For the small number of people who do have a problem, the answer is not to argue. It is to move on, because a sit you had to fight for is not a sit you will enjoy, and it is not a review you will want. There are more homeowners out there than you will ever have time to sit for, and the overwhelming majority of them will welcome you exactly as you are. Pick one of those. Treat the people you meet with kindness, including the ones you disagree with, and leave every home a little friendlier than you found it. That is the whole thing, and it is not complicated.

Caro and I have completed 20 house sits across 12 countries, driven 19,000km across Europe in our 1998 VW T4, and saved over $26,500 in accommodation costs over three years of house sitting.

DM us @housesittersguide, we answer everyone.

Frequently Asked Questions

• Do house sitting platforms allow discrimination against LGBTQ+ sitters?

  Their codes commit members to respect, but they do not control who gets chosen. TrustedHousesitters members pledge to be respectful regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. A homeowner picking someone else is not a breach. Behaving badly towards you is.

• Should I mention that I am gay or lesbian in my house sitting profile?

  In most cases, no. Most homeowners have no issue and there is nothing to declare. If it is a strong value rather than a private detail, say so early and let people decide whether you are the right fit.

• Are there countries where it is unsafe to house sit as an LGBTQ+ person?

  Yes, and it is worth checking properly. ILGA World reports that 65 UN member states still criminalise consensual same-sex relations, and your government travel advisory will flag local attitudes and any specific warnings for transgender travellers.

• Can a homeowner refuse me because of my sexuality?

  In practice, yes, in their own home. It is their house and their choice, and it is not something you can force. What they cannot do is be degrading about it. That is where a platform report becomes reasonable.

• What should I do if a homeowner is disrespectful about it?

  Report it if it is harassment or degrading, then move on. Keep the messages and use the platform process, but expect a note on the account rather than a dramatic outcome. For a plain no, take it as information.

• Do LGBTQ+ homeowners need to say anything in their listing?

  Not unless they hold a strong preference. Most homeowners have no issue and simply write their listing. If you do have a strong view, state it upfront rather than discovering the mismatch after a sitter arrives.

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