Home > Blog > Homeowner or Sitter Stops Messaging Before the Sit
This article is about silence before the sit starts. If the homeowner has gone quiet during a sit, while you are already in the house looking after pets, that is a different situation covered in our homeowner stops responding guide. This guide covers the limbo period after confirmation but before arrival — when either party stops communicating and you do not know whether the sit is still happening.
The practical answer: once a sit is confirmed on THS — both parties have clicked the confirm button — neither side can apply for or accept overlapping sits. That means if communication breaks down, you must cancel the sit before you can open the calendar back up. The timeline for action depends on how far out you are. In the week the sit is about to start, 3-4 days of silence with no response is enough to justify cancellation. Weeks or months out, wait at least a week before making that call — homeowners sometimes only reply at weekends. The limbo is worse than the cancellation. The sooner you act, the faster you find something better.
The Zug sit felt like a done deal. The video call had gone well. The connection was there. The homeowner said they had a few more people to interview and would get back to us. We waited a week. Nothing. We messaged asking for an update. Nothing. We messaged again saying we needed to finalise our dates. Still nothing. We even contacted TrustedHouseSitters support to see if they had any information. They replied, correctly, that they could not contact homeowners on our behalf about their decisions.
Two weeks after the video call, the homeowner replied. There had been a family emergency. The sit was cancelled.
We wished them well and applied for new sits immediately. Within twenty minutes we had a response, a video call, and a confirmed month-long sit in Lullin, France. The first long sit we ever did, looking after two of the easiest cats imaginable. That sit was the stepping stone that made a six-month sit feel possible. The Zug silence led directly to the best month of house sitting we had done to that point.
This is a useful pattern to hold onto when you are in the limbo of a non-responding homeowner or sitter. The uncertainty is the worst part. The cancellation is often the beginning of something better.
Based on three years with TrustedHouseSitters, here is how to handle pre-sit silence from either side. Use our 25% discount when joining.
Why the Limbo Is Harder Than the Cancellation
The research from the community is consistent with our experience: the uncertainty is worse than the eventual outcome. When someone stops replying, the person waiting runs through a loop of questions. Did I say something wrong, are they just busy, have they found someone else, should I move on. Without any of the information needed to answer them.
The problem is that the closer you get to the sit date, the more the anxiety compounds. You do not want to cancel because you are still hoping the sit comes through. But you are also becoming increasingly desperate, and desperation produces poor decisions. Accepting a replacement sit you would never normally consider, or as a homeowner, confirming a sitter you are not actually comfortable with because the timeline is forcing your hand.
The Bochum sit that was cancelled by the homeowner. Her adult son was unwell and wanted to come home. Demonstrated the simpler version of this. We had not invested heavily in getting there, we stayed home and explored locally, and the experience reinforced something I would tell any sitter: never build a trip entirely around a house sit. Plan the holiday first, use the sit as accommodation on top. If the sit falls through, the trip continues. If it does not, you are sitting in an uncomfortable situation trying to rebuild plans from scratch.
What to Do If the Homeowner Stops Responding
Day one or two of silence: a single friendly message asking if everything is still on track. Not pressing, just checking in. People miss messages, phones break, life intervenes.
After 48 hours of no reply: Call first. send a message through a different channel if you have one. WhatsApp alongside the THS platform message, or email if you have it. Frame it clearly: you need to confirm dates and plans, you have not heard back, you want to know if the sit is still going ahead. Notifications are unreliable. Caro and I regularly miss each other's messages even sitting in the same van. A call gets through when a message does not. If the homeowner does not answer, leave a short voicemail referencing your message and asking them to reply when they can.
After a further 48 hours: call once more before sending the final message. The call gives the homeowner one last chance to respond before you formally close things out. Then send: "Hi [name]. We have not heard back in a few days and are not sure if everything is still going ahead. We will need to start looking for alternative arrangements if we do not hear from you. We would still love to do the sit if you get in touch quickly. Please reach out if anything has changed. Wishing you all the best."
Then cancel the confirmed sit on the platform and start looking immediately. The confirmed status locks your calendar for that period. Until you cancel, you cannot apply for overlapping sits and homeowners cannot receive applications for the same dates. Cancelling is the action that reopens your options, not just a formality.
The reason to send the final message. Rather than simply cancelling without notice. Is documentation. If the homeowner reappears later and questions why you found another sit, the message shows you gave fair warning.
A week before any sit, it is worth messaging to check everything is going ahead. A sitter arriving into a new country should message in advance to say they will be unreachable during travel and will make contact as soon as they have connectivity. This small pre-emptive communication prevents most of the unnecessary silence that generates anxiety on both sides.
What to Do If the Sitter Stops Responding
The homeowner's experience of a ghosting sitter is its own version of the same anxiety. Made worse by the fact that flights and travel plans may already be booked.
One week before the sit: message the sitter to confirm everything is still on track. This is the standard check-in that every homeowner should do regardless of whether there has been any silence.
Two days of no reply: message again through any other channel you have. WhatsApp, email. Then call. Be direct: you need confirmation that the sitter is coming, and you need it within the next 48 hours. A voicemail stating clearly that you need a response by a specific date is harder to miss than a notification that never appeared.
Still no reply: call once more, then send the closure message and begin contacting other applicants. The message: "Hi [name]. I have not been able to reach you for several days and am unable to wait any longer with my travel plans. I am going to find another sitter. I am sorry it has come to this and wish you all the best."
Contact TrustedHouseSitters at this point. Not because they can force the sitter to respond, but because everything should be on file. If the sit is cancelled and there is any question about whether proper process was followed, the documented message history matters. It also starts the paper trail needed for any cancellation coverage. Our lack of platform support guide is clear on what THS can and cannot do: they can note the complaint, flag the account, and document the pattern. They cannot compel the sitter to respond or recover your plans.
The practical next step for homeowners who confirm their sitter has gone quiet: contact other applicants who expressed interest but were not selected, post in the THS forum asking for a sitter in your area, and look at whether local pet sitters or boarding options can provide emergency cover. The further out you address this, the more options you have.
The Van Advantage and the Non-Refundable Travel Problem
For sitters who travel in a van, the pre-sit ghosting problem is significantly lower stakes. If the Zug sit had been cancelled the day before arrival, the van would have been outside. We would have parked somewhere, continued traveling, and found the next sit. An inconvenience, not a crisis.
For sitters who fly to international sits, the stakes are different. Non-refundable flights, visa requirements, booked travel. A last-minute cancellation places a sitter in a situation where they need emergency accommodation in an unfamiliar country with limited lead time. The community advice on this is correct: do not book non-refundable travel until you have had recent, solid communication confirming the sit is proceeding. If the last exchange was two weeks ago, the sit is not confirmed in any practical sense.
The van eliminates this risk entirely and is one of the strongest practical arguments for combining van travel with house sitting. Our campervan vs house sitting comparison covers the full picture of why the van as fallback changes the logistics.
Never Put All Your Eggs in One Basket
The Zug sit taught us this directly. We were mentally committed to it after the video call. We were not applying for other sits in parallel because we expected this one to come through. When it fell through, we had nothing in progress.
The correct approach is to keep applying until a sit is formally confirmed and communication is active and current. Multiple applications in parallel is not disloyal. It is the appropriate response to an arrangement that is not yet final. Go with the homeowner who is most excited to have you. The application that comes back in twenty minutes with a video call scheduled that same day is telling you something important about how the sit will feel. Our building trust guide covers the application approach that generates this kind of enthusiastic response.
The Lullin sit came from exactly this situation. The fastest confirmation we had experienced. An entire month. Two easy cats. The foundation for everything that came after.
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The Message Templates
If you are the sitter and the homeowner has gone quiet:
Check-in (day 1-2 of silence): "Hi [name], just checking in. Hope everything is going well. Still really looking forward to the sit, let me know if you need anything from me."
Deadline message (after 48 further hours): Call first, then send: "Hi [name], I have not heard back and need to finalise my plans. Could you let me know by [day] whether the sit is still going ahead? I completely understand if something has changed."
Final message: Call first, then send: "Hi [name]. We have not heard back in a few days and need to start looking for alternatives. We would still love to do the sit if you reach out quickly. Wishing you all the best."
If you are the homeowner and the sitter has gone quiet:
Check-in (one week before sit): "Hi [name], just checking in. Looking forward to the sit next week. Let me know if you have any questions."
Deadline message (two days of silence): Call first, then send: "Hi [name], I have tried to reach you and am not getting a response. I need confirmation that you are still coming by [day] or I will need to make other arrangements."
Final message: Call first, then send: "Hi [name]. I have not been able to reach you and cannot wait any longer. I am going to find another sitter. I am sorry it came to this and wish you all the best."
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should I wait before assuming a confirmed sit has been cancelled?
Two to three days of silence after a reasonable check-in message is enough to begin parallel planning. Do not wait for a formal cancellation before starting to look for alternatives. Send a clear deadline message, start searching, and send a final closure message before you commit to something else.
Should I contact TrustedHouseSitters if the other party stops responding?
Yes, but to document the situation rather than to get a rescue. THS cannot compel the other party to respond or recover your arrangements. What platform contact does is create a dated record of the situation, which matters if there is any subsequent dispute about who cancelled or why. Log it, keep the message trail, and manage the situation yourself.
Is it okay to apply for other sits while waiting to hear back from a preferred homeowner?
Yes. Always keep multiple applications in progress until a sit is formally confirmed and communication is current. A video call and a verbal agreement is not a final confirmation. A confirmed sit where neither party has communicated in two weeks is not a confirmed sit in any practical sense. Apply in parallel and go with the option that is most enthusiastic about having you.
What should I do if my travel is already booked and the sit falls through?
Contact the homeowner first, then the platform to document the cancellation. For non-refundable travel, check whether your travel insurance covers sit cancellations. The THS sit cancellation plan on eligible plans provides some coverage. Our TrustedHouseSitters pricing guide covers what applies on each plan.
